Article published in Elephant Journal on June 17, 2020
My friends and family thought I was crazy. For a moment I thought, “Am I crazy?”
Because it’s not every day you see someone walking away from a nearly 20-year successful finance career, in a prestigious Wall Street firm, to become a spiritual coach, speaker, writer, and wellness retreat facilitator.
My awakening story began in a big auditorium, sitting shoulder to shoulder with 200 people, and meditating for the first time. It was Deepak Chopra, a renowned spiritual teacher and best-selling author, who came into my corporate job to talk about what it means to be an enlightened leader. I’d gotten many insights and realizations from what he was sharing, as if I was re-remembering what I’d already known deep down.
At the end of his presentation, he guided the audience into meditation and asked us to ask ourselves a question, “Who am I?” What I heard from my inner voice in return was “I am.”
Just a simple “I am,” without any other definition to follow.
I had always been a seeker, and the questions of, “Who am I?” and, “What is my life purpose?” had been haunting me for many years.
I thought I would find the answer once I got my MBA, or a successful career, or traveled the world, or got married, or became a mom. I checked the boxes on all the things society told me to do in order to be happy. But deep inside I still had a nagging feeling that something was missing.
I felt like other people knew a secret that I didn’t know. Only later I realized that they, in fact, didn’t know it either. They were just as unhappy and asleep as I was. We all just learned how to wear our masks well, seeking validation from the world to approve of us. We kept ourselves busy with constant doing and achieving, and successfully distracted ourselves from what’s really important.
Now I believe that is the root problem of humanity.
We can’t truly find ourselves in the doing, it needs to come from our being. Any external achievements will only bring us temporary satisfaction, with the mind always asking for what’s next. It’s only when we embark on the journey of self-exploration that we can find the true meaning.
My spiritual awakening was followed by an identity crisis and a total reframing of who I was. It wasn’t all sparkles and butterflies. Some people call it “a dark night of the soul.” And dark it was. It took a deep transformation, facing my shadows, healing my emotions, and overcoming my fears, to walk away from what was not authentic to me anymore.
But it was entirely worth it.
We live in unprecedented times and are going through a paradigm shift right now.
What happens on the planetary level affects us all on the personal. So many people are awakening and questioning their beliefs. They are going from living their lives in victim mentality to creating lives on their own terms. Although it’s scary and confusing, this is the greatest awakening in our lives.
Spiritual awakening and realization is the ultimate purpose of this lifetime. We may all have different backgrounds, talents, missions, and ways to express ourselves, but the underlying main purpose is the same.
It is to awaken and start listening to our hearts, inner knowing, and voice of intuition. This will guide us to the truth and bring us the most joyful experiences of our lives.